I saw this “One Last Thing” on Carrots n Cake this morning, and I thought it would be the perfect quick, Heyyyyyyyyaaaaa.

LAST SPLURGE: I bought this purse by SAK in camel (which isn’t listed on the site unfortunately) when Macy’s had their “friends and family” 25% off sale. I love it so very much. I am not really a shoes or clothes person, but I adore bags and usually get a nice one once a year or so.

LAST ROMANTIC GESTURE: I surprised Ryan when he came home from work yesterday by being dressed in real clothes (versus my usual sweatpants and tshirt) with makeup on and my hair done ready to take him to an unexpected mid-week dinner. We had a really nice time.

We went to a local diner called The Bomber. We’ve seen it before, but never had a reason to go. It’s hard to miss, though, as they have an actual bomber in the parking lot.

P.S. I wore these pants and I cannot say enough good things about them. If you are looking for a light, comfortable alternative to jean capris for summer, get these. Great price, perfect fit (sizes XS – XL with elastic waist!) and they come in blue or red (I have both!).

LAST THING I COOKED: I made my smoothie this morning. The last thing I actually cook-cooked was two scrambled eggs for yesterday’s lunch.

LAST HOME IMPROVEMENT: I’ve been working constantly on my flower beds. I’ve planted hydrangea (twice! I had to move them because they were getting too much sun; such dramatic plants), hostas, russian sage, blue spiral, and a few assorted annuals. This  pic was taken before I finished. I’ve removed some things and, again, moved those drama-plants hydrangea.

P.S. I felt especially grown up the other day when I called my mom and when she picked up, the first thing I said was, “My hydrangea are being ridiculous, what should I do?” Mirror mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all…

Okay, your turn. Pick one or all…

Where We Went: Whidbey Island

Where We Stayed: Captain Whidbey Inn

What We Did: Hiked and Explored the Lighthouse and Fort at Fort Casey, viewed Deception Pass (amazing), explored the tiny town of Coupeville, Wash, ate a whole package of PB Oreos, and spent a whole lot of time with our feet up gazing at Penn Cove, reading, playing games, and generally being together out in the middle of beautiful nowhere.

In a word. Glorious.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

And yours. Oh look, we have so much in common!

Today is ALSO the first day of me being a full-time self-employed artist. I owe this incredible honor to my wonderful family, friends, acquaintances, and customers who have purchased and who have touted my jewelry to get my name out there.

As a major THANK YOU (like woah), I’m giving away some free jewels.

In fact, I’m giving away not one…

Not two…

Not three, not four. FIVE.

I’m giving away FIVE inspirational necklaces to five winners!

View the entire bama + ry line here. 

*****************HOW TO WIN*****************

TO WIN, YOU MUST LEAVE A COMMENT FOR EVERY ONE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS YOU CHOOSE. The more comments you leave, the more entries you will have.

Entry 1. Like us on facebook (and leave a comment here).

Entry 2. Share this post on your Facebook page with a link back to this page (and leave a comment here).

Entry 3. Follow @bama_ry on twitter (and leave a comment here).

Entry 4. Tweet about this giveaway with a link back (and leave a comment here).

Entry 5. Follow BAMA_RY on Instagram (and leave a comment here). 

Rules: This giveaway is worldwide. Five necklaces pictured above will be sent at random to five different individuals anywhere in the world. Contest ends Friday, April 5, 2013. Please allow two weeks before shipping. Winners will be notified by email and will have 48 hours to reply with their address before another winner is chosen in their place.

Thank you for your support, your cheers, your prayers, your vibes. It takes a community and I have a glorious one. <3

The temptation to quit will always be the greatest right before you’re about to succeed. - Chinese Proverb

Recently, I saw this wonderful graphic that succinctly showed the path which successful people walk and the point at which many people give up.

This is not that wonderful, succinct graph. I couldn’t find that one, so I made my own (terrible) version.

To me, this highlights two very important things:

1. It’s a good idea to keep going.

2. You should probably really love something if you’re going to keep going through a slump like that.

Both #1 and #2 are very difficult. If they were easy, we’d all be reaping the rewards of everything we’ve ever tried, which could be cool or it could be chaotic. (Imagine how weird the world would be if we all made a decent living taking pictures of our food and talking about it… Awkward.)

This past January, just before I left for what would be my final tradeshow trip to NYC for my current employer, I put in my notice. I gave three months, as much for this small many-hats company as for myself.

I quit my day job. I was excited, ecstatic…OVER THE MOON… that I’d finally found the right combinations of my skills to make my own venture work (and pay the bills at the same time).

And then my sales immediately tanked. Immediately.

I made less in January than I made in the first month of being open. I made HALF what I made in a “bad month.”

It was enough to bring all of those self-doubting questions to mind that we all keep around for a rainy day.

Here you go again, Jasmine. Jumping in with both feet without thinking of the long term. (Even though I actually DID think long term this time.)

You’re didn’t get a swanky degree for metalsmithing. Why did you think you could make a business out of this? (But I DID make a business out of this.)

Did you really earn this? You only opened in July 2012. (I have worked nearly every waking hour of every day since then. If anyone can ever really “earn” anything, I think I have.)

Maybe you moved too quickly. (But it was already done!)

My wonderful husband reminded me that (for the first freaking time in my life), I’d actually taken calculating steps to do what I was doing. I’ve kept records, made plans, saved money, and am as prepared as a creative-crazy Jasmine gets.

And, so I toiled onward and my sales rebounded in February and March as my tenure at my day job came to a close.

Then, those last few days came. Two weeks left, and my sales tanked again, but this time to unprecedented levels.

This past week, I made less than I’ve ever made in any week since opening. Ever. Like, terrifying little.

Luckily though, I’d seen the prettier, more useful version of the graph above and I realized, this is my point.

Right now, I am sitting at that point with three days left of my day job, having trained my replacement and socked away a few months of salary. Yes, I have a net, but a small one. It feels like a precipice. The edge of something new and large and unknown. It is gloriously terrifying to think that I’ve grief-stumbled my way into something real and true, and though there have been moments where I’ve wanted to pause and just cling to what I know, what I can count on, I know that whatever else I’ve done has brought me to this. So, I’m going to step off the brake, ride this ride wherever it takes me, and just see where I end up.

I have started over before. I have been in far lower places than these. I have been afraid before and survived to tell you about it. Now is the time for me to live up to the ideals I’ve set for myself.

I have noticed lately that I take a lot of pictures of jewelry, of nature, of Ryan, but almost no pictures of me. It reminds me of those old Jenny Craig commercials where the very thin woman gives a testimonial about how she used to hate having her pictures taken (cue heavier photo of her) only to end up in tears talking about how she “was slowly erasing herself” from her children’s memories.

I sort of get it.

Lately, I have realized so many complicated things. Since my miscarriage I’ve gained 45 pounds, and I hate myself for it. That sounds harsh, I know, but it is also the truth. I told a friend the other day, “Life buried me, and I ate my way out.”

On the one hand, I’m in this ridiculous self-loathing place, and on the other hand, I sort of want to be soft to my spirit. I know in my heart that I just didn’t know what to do. I’ve always turned to food, and in some ways eating to numb the pain was the only way my brain could figure out how to protect me. Coping mechanisms, after all, are there for a reason.

I’ve also realized that it doesn’t really matter. Gaining weight and even being “fat” is not nearly as big of a deal as the world tells me it is. It’s not healthy, true, but that’s about all it really means. It doesn’t mean I am worthless, disgusting, lazy, or ugly. These are the things I’ve learned to associate with my fatness. The reality is, I need to lose weight and get healthy again. So, I’m just going to do it. Period.

Another thing I’m realizing, or remembering, really is that I’m a lucky woman. I have a wonderful husband always looking for a way to build up our marriage and our life together. I have a family that is always ready and willing to be my cheering block. I have a business that fulfills me. I have found a community with which I can practice my own personal brand of spirituality and even dipping my toe in that ocean of calm is like aloe to my soul.

My life is a blessing, and if I focus on that, it is almost impossible to mind the things I don’t have. And, that’s what I’ve been doing for a year, holding on to the things that I don’t have. For guilt of letting them go.

And, now it is time. Time to smile, time to work out, time to work, but also time to play. A lot of wonderful things are happening in my life, and while I don’t entirely know what that means for my writing, it would be just ridiculous to think that writing something somewhere won’t play a huge part in the moving on, the rebuilding, and the conquering (!!).

I know there are those of you that read these ramblings of mine, who wish me well, who take your thoughts of me out into the real world and let wishes go like brightly hued balloons. I know many of you have been doing this for quite some time now, hoping that I’d finally wake up and see them. Thank you. They are beautiful… <3