Good morning! I haven’t wrote in a while, so I wanted to pop in. I’m working pretty hard on getting a standalone site up and going, which will include a blog feature that I am determined to actually update! Woop!

I saw this “One Last Thing” on Carrots n Cake this morning, and I thought it would be the perfect quick, Heyyyyyyyyaaaaa.

LAST SPLURGE: I bought this purse by SAK in camel (which isn’t listed on the site unfortunately) when Macy’s had their “friends and family” 25% off sale. I love it so very much. I am not really a shoes or clothes person, but I adore bags and usually get a nice one once a year or so.

LAST ROMANTIC GESTURE: I surprised Ryan when he came home from work yesterday by being dressed in real clothes (versus my usual sweatpants and tshirt) with makeup on and my hair done ready to take him to an unexpected mid-week dinner. We had a really nice time.

We went to a local diner called The Bomber. We’ve seen it before, but never had a reason to go. It’s hard to miss, though, as they have an actual bomber in the parking lot.

P.S. I wore these pants and I cannot say enough good things about them. If you are looking for a light, comfortable alternative to jean capris for summer, get these. Great price, perfect fit (sizes XS – XL with elastic waist!) and they come in blue or red (I have both!).

LAST THING I COOKED: I made my smoothie this morning. The last thing I actually cook-cooked was two scrambled eggs for yesterday’s lunch.

LAST HOME IMPROVEMENT: I’ve been working constantly on my flower beds. I’ve planted hydrangea (twice! I had to move them because they were getting too much sun; such dramatic plants), hostas, russian sage, blue spiral, and a few assorted annuals. This  pic was taken before I finished. I’ve removed some things and, again, moved those drama-plants hydrangea.

P.S. I felt especially grown up the other day when I called my mom and when she picked up, the first thing I said was, “My hydrangea are being ridiculous, what should I do?” Mirror mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all…

Okay, your turn. Pick one or all…

The temptation to quit will always be the greatest right before you’re about to succeed. - Chinese Proverb

Recently, I saw this wonderful graphic that succinctly showed the path which successful people walk and the point at which many people give up.

This is not that wonderful, succinct graph. I couldn’t find that one, so I made my own (terrible) version.

To me, this highlights two very important things:

1. It’s a good idea to keep going.

2. You should probably really love something if you’re going to keep going through a slump like that.

Both #1 and #2 are very difficult. If they were easy, we’d all be reaping the rewards of everything we’ve ever tried, which could be cool or it could be chaotic. (Imagine how weird the world would be if we all made a decent living taking pictures of our food and talking about it… Awkward.)

This past January, just before I left for what would be my final tradeshow trip to NYC for my current employer, I put in my notice. I gave three months, as much for this small many-hats company as for myself.

I quit my day job. I was excited, ecstatic…OVER THE MOON… that I’d finally found the right combinations of my skills to make my own venture work (and pay the bills at the same time).

And then my sales immediately tanked. Immediately.

I made less in January than I made in the first month of being open. I made HALF what I made in a “bad month.”

It was enough to bring all of those self-doubting questions to mind that we all keep around for a rainy day.

Here you go again, Jasmine. Jumping in with both feet without thinking of the long term. (Even though I actually DID think long term this time.)

You’re didn’t get a swanky degree for metalsmithing. Why did you think you could make a business out of this? (But I DID make a business out of this.)

Did you really earn this? You only opened in July 2012. (I have worked nearly every waking hour of every day since then. If anyone can ever really “earn” anything, I think I have.)

Maybe you moved too quickly. (But it was already done!)

My wonderful husband reminded me that (for the first freaking time in my life), I’d actually taken calculating steps to do what I was doing. I’ve kept records, made plans, saved money, and am as prepared as a creative-crazy Jasmine gets.

And, so I toiled onward and my sales rebounded in February and March as my tenure at my day job came to a close.

Then, those last few days came. Two weeks left, and my sales tanked again, but this time to unprecedented levels.

This past week, I made less than I’ve ever made in any week since opening. Ever. Like, terrifying little.

Luckily though, I’d seen the prettier, more useful version of the graph above and I realized, this is my point.

Right now, I am sitting at that point with three days left of my day job, having trained my replacement and socked away a few months of salary. Yes, I have a net, but a small one. It feels like a precipice. The edge of something new and large and unknown. It is gloriously terrifying to think that I’ve grief-stumbled my way into something real and true, and though there have been moments where I’ve wanted to pause and just cling to what I know, what I can count on, I know that whatever else I’ve done has brought me to this. So, I’m going to step off the brake, ride this ride wherever it takes me, and just see where I end up.

I have started over before. I have been in far lower places than these. I have been afraid before and survived to tell you about it. Now is the time for me to live up to the ideals I’ve set for myself.