You guys ROCK. Sadly, I didn’t win. I spent one evening being super sad, and then my husband reminded me that I can be a badass business woman even without taking the incredible badassery that is b-school.
Fine. I’ll be a badass all on my own. Whatevs, hub.
In other news, I’ve been hitting the gym like a BOSS. I’ve also been tracking my food. In my former blogging life, it was some sort of gigantic faux pas for you to track your food. I understand (completely) that it is a trigger for certain people, but that’s not me for the most part. It just comes down to the fact that I’d really like to get off this grief weight and have more than leggings and one worn-out pair of jeans for dressing options. Over it.
Tomorrow, I’m going to a “nightclub experience” dance class with my friend Quyen. In an effort to thwart my monkey mind, I already purchased my ticket for the class. Otherwise, my mind would play a dozen tricks on me before tomorrow night and convince me that I am 1) too flabby to go, 2) too out of shape to go, 3) too ugly/old/uncoordinated/fill-in-the-blank to go. All of the above is total BS, so I’m going. End of story.
So, business… I’m in a weird crossroads with the direction I want to take my business. I’ve been doing some reading, and as I understand it, I’m mired in something similar to what they call a “plateau” when you’re losing weight. At first, it was all roses and lollipops. People were discovering my business, buying, and telling their friends. But NOW, I feel a tad stagnant. I have to up my game, and I need to move beyond that original circle of people. I don’t exactly know how to do that. I know that it requires some solid branding and then good, genuine social media outreach. Right now, I’m working on developing a cohesive plan that will translate across all channels. This is WAY more complicated than it sounds and certainly more complicated than it was for my old blog. Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in both indecision and work. Half the time, I think I’m fashionably rocking the 72 hats I’m wearing, and the other half, I feel like I’m doing a balancing act worthy of a circus act. Shrug.
Happily, I have decided what I’m going to do with a blog. I have always wanted a blogging component to my business. I got lost for a while trying to figure out how that blog could support my business, but also serve ME as an artist/writer/human. I think I’ve decided that I’m going to create a blog that looks and feels site-wise very much like the rest of the bama + ry brand, but serves in many ways as a personal blog. Meaning, it will be a hybrid of what I used to do and what I do now, to include: recipes, talking about working out and weight loss, some lifestyle stuff, some behind-the-scenes business stuff, day in the lifes, etc etc.
Lastly, for those of you following my emotional/mental well being since my miscarriage, I can tell you that I have, finally, truly crossed that threshold. That’s the best way to describe it, a threshold. I am still sad, and I know that this feeling will come and go for a long time, if not always. I miss my pregnancy, and I miss all the milestone moments that my twins would have had and that my mind continues to tally. I miss, too, the innocence of believing that you get married to someone you love and then you have babies, like life is really a 1+2 equation. I miss the belief that biological children was an eventuality for us. I miss not looking stricken when someone asks me, “So, do you have kids?” I miss these things like the awake person sometimes misses being asleep. But, I’m okay. More than that, I’m happy and grateful, so grateful. In fact, I think that the work I’ve done to cultivate my gratefulness has been the thing that changed it all. That and time.